April 27, 2012
By Bill Hannold
Dads, we have discovered three important principles that we must be prepared to exercise in the decision-making process:
1. We must consider the individual child...their past history of “needs” and “bents” and their present emotional, physical, and spiritual condition.
2. We must keep in mind the long-range impact decisions will have on our children.
3. We must take into account the effect our decisions will have on other people.
Another skill to develop in decision-making is determining “exceptions”. This is a place for real discernment. It may be that at times flexibility would be more appropriate than rigidity. This skill is crucial as we begin to release the decision-making reins to our children as they get older. These are times when we would ordinarily say “No”. We must decide if it’s time to release the decision-making responsibility.
Exceptions can never be made on the laws of God. But there are times when we must loosen the lines and give opportunity for growth. There are situations where we must let our children learn from their choices that they will “reap what they sow”. The times of release must be provided, but not until we have modeled proper decision-making and have given counsel and guidance in more controlled situations.
Our goal is to launch responsible Christian adults into a world of choices. What an awesome responsibility we have...and our children are counting on us. It’s encouraging to know that God has promised wisdom to those who ask...and that He will make His strength known in our weakness. “I can do all things through Christ…” (Phil. 4:13).
“Father, I again ask for wisdom and discernment, and that you prompt on when and how to release the decision-making reins. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
February 22, 2012
By Bill Hannold
Dads, concerning our decision-making responsibility, there is another consideration beyond the needs of our children and the long-range impact that our decisions will have on them. We must also take into account the effect, on other people, of decisions we make. It is crucial to teach our children early that things they wish to have or do have an impact on others. Everything we say, do, and have, affects someone else.
Some decisions, though they may be good for the person making them, may actually be bad decisions, if they don’t take into account the affect the choice will have on others…
We are cautioned in 1 Corinthians 8:9; “But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours becomes a stumbling block to them that are weak.”
You have no doubt seen children who bully others and are cruel. They take no thought of the impact of their words or actions until “they” have to get glasses or braces...or meet someone bigger than they are.
Those who grow up dominating others are often products of homes where life decisions were rarely, if ever, thought of in terms of “how will this affect others?”
Again, dads, we must set the example and teach our children early to think of others. God’s counsel is clear…“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4
“Lord, I again ask your help and prompting to guide my children to think of the impact their decisions will have on others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
December 02, 2011
By Bill Hannold
Dads, as we keep in mind our child’s needs and present condition when making decisions...we must be mindful of the long-range impact of our decisions.
Gordon MacDonald likens parenting to the sculpting process. “The chiseling may be painful and may seem out of perspective, but the sculptor knows what he is creating; therefore, he is patient and deliberate. His work is based on the future.”
Since our children think only of the present, we must be the ones to remind them that decisions that may seem unreasonable are based on their future impact...where a choice might take them. Quitting a team, musical instrument, or anything is a frequent “way out” chosen by many. If we allow our children to “quit” when the going gets though, inconvenient, or “boring”, they can easily develop a habit that would follow them throughout life. We must develop some pre-determined timetables as to when commitments can be re-evaluated.
· “You can’t quit the team until after an official game. If you choose to continue, you finish the season.”
· With music lessons: “If you start a year, you finish a year.”
The length of a time commitment is not as crucial as simply having in place an understanding of what follow-through is expected.
Rather than develop the habit of quitting, we must help them learn to endure pain and inconvenience, doing hard things...often for the good of others.
It is certain that future matters in life will be painful, unpleasant and demanding. Better for our children to learn early in life the benefits of “enduring hardness as a good soldier.” II Timothy 2:3
Dads, could our decisions in matters like these really have long range impact for our children...concerning marriage? Family? Employment? Christian commitment?
“Lord, I’m reminded of my need for your prompting and empowering to be the example and guide that my children need. Help me to consider the long-range impact of decisions I make. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
September 20, 2011
By Bill Hannold
Dads, we are frequently called on to be the “decision-maker” in the life of our family. It is a God-ordained responsibility that we can’t afford to take lightly.
Decisions we make can affect our children positively or negatively for years to come. So, we need to prepare ourselves in advance to make those sometimes painful decisions that will affect the future of our children.
There are some important principles of decision-making that we should be prepared to exercise before “the rubber meets the road.”
First, we must consider the individual child; their past history of “needs” and “bents” and their present condition emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Since every child is different, each decision can be unique.
We must guard against making hasty decisions. We need to be sure we have adequate, accurate information to avoid “jumping to conclusions.” Impulsive responses can destroy the spirit of our children. Proverbs 18:13 warns us: “He that answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame unto him.”
This is an important principle to keep in mind whether the child asks permission to attend an event, deserves punishment for a discipline matter, or presents a problem for solution.
Dads, to make good decisions concerning our children we must know the context of the matter and the particular needs and weaknesses of the child involved.
It takes more time to find out all the facts but the end result is wise decisions and stronger relationships with our children. “...the honor of kings is to search out a matter.” Proverbs 15:20
“Lord, please prompt me to consider all the facts as well as the individual needs of my children when making decisions that will affect them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
July 21, 2011
By Bill Hannold
Dads, while assisting our children through the emotional challenges of insecurity, puberty, and peer pressure, we must also be sensitive to the impact of “fatigue”
Have you ever been guilty of punishing your children for behavior brought on by fatigue? We all tend to “blow it” more frequently when we are physically exhausted.
We need to look for warning signs that fatigue is setting in and re-evaluate priorities in our schedules. We can set our children up for behavioral failures by not doing our part to assure they are rested.
Perhaps the most frequent parent violation in this area is in not maintaining a consistent bedtime. A foresightful father will realize that some activities, fueled by convenience, pleasure, or peer-pressure may have to be missed to assure peak performance for a demanding day ahead. The success of school performance and behavior often hinges on this very issue.
In Chuck Swindoll’s book; Strengthening Your Grip, he states that “sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is rest.”
Dads, our children need us to help them avoid the pitfalls of fatigue. Again, they will learn more by “example” than lectures; and therein lies the challenge.
God’s rich counsel to us should not be neglected; “Even the youth shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.”
“Lord, help me to be the example I need to be to guide my children in learning the balance of rest and activity. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
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